TUBAL LIGATION REGRET || I want another baby! (My TTC Story/Journey)


okay we have some news and it’s
something I actually not and for he has I never thought I would be doing this
but it’s just funny because over the last few weeks or a couple months I
think it’s kind of jokingly said maybe I should do the rehearsal surgery you know
and we can look left off but as I started thinking more about it I kind of
realized that sweet maybe I do want to try to reverse surgery I got my tubes
tied like two years ago and at that point I was overwhelmed and
sleep-deprived we had four kids so I just thought okay this is good I’m at my
max I don’t think I can handle any more and I felt like four was a really good
number but I think start to settle down and you know Owen is completely potty
trained and then sleeps through the night and everything just seems so calm
now and now I can actually see myself having another baby which is really
where I never thought I’d even consider this but I really have just been feeling
like maybe there is another baby and maybe at least if I did get the reversal
surgery I would kind of be handing it back over to God at you know I know God
gives us our free agency and I felt like when I chose to get my tubes tied I was
kind of using my free agency and I knew God was fine with my decision either way
and so I just felt like okay for the way I feel is that this is I have reached my
max and this is as much as I can handle and but now the additional down and I’m
thinking and reconsider and thinking well at least if I did go through with
the surgery and be back in God’s hands so and
hoping for the best but I also am going to have faith that whatever does happen
is part of God’s plan you know it’s not just that you’re thinking about it it’s
this feeling that you’re having but having it for probably about six months
now yeah you’ve been having this feeling that you know that you should have
another baby yeah so you know we’re just assuming that that that’s God speaking
to you and I’m all for it I mean I’ve always wanted as many kids as we could
have within reason I feel like we have a loving environment
for now we can afford to have them and I love hat I just love them I just love
having all the kids but I just didn’t want to put your health at risk I I
don’t want to you know I just don’t want to do anything that could potentially
hurt you and and so you know this surgery’s safe and simple so the sooner
they’re telling us there’s about a 40% chance that we’ll get pregnant after the
surgery and they reattach the tubes so we’ll just see where it goes and yes
that’s safe and it’s not then I think that you know then that’s okay too
yeah that’s going to yeah I think we’re in a good place about it we’re just
willing to accept whatever the outcome is and so we definitely be excited we
did have another baby and also I think it’s just interesting you know to the
mind that this is even happening to me that I’m even having these feelings and
the sauce and and I definitely feel as though I’m regretting the decision in
the first place that I even chose to get my tubes tied and such a permanent
decision and it’s really hard to know even two years down the road how you’re
going to feel and so I know that this whole process is part of my plan and
learning a lot through it but I I definitely feel some regrets
around getting my tubes tied and especially because the way we found out
I went and had a couple consultations the other day and we had the operations
report sent to these doctors so that they can look over the details and know
exactly how the procedure was done and it turns out the way they did the tubal
ligation was not ideal for a reversal so that was really emotional for me I got
really sad about that because they said that it would have been better if the
tubes were clamped right clip rubbing and cauterize yeah so mine were burned
and that leaves them less to work with this is just emotional those Marshall
thing they might choose it were Birds so there’s a lower chance of this working we’re going to go ahead and do the
surgery but I’m just a little sad that my name chances of success rate is not a
time so obviously emotional they’re not going to know until they go in and see
what the tubes look like so it’s kind of one of those things we just have to wait
and see what the doctor says and we go in on Wednesday so in just three days
we’re going in to get the procedure done and at this point we really don’t know
how successful it will be um we’ll know afterwards so we just excited we’ll just
go ahead and try for it and see what happens and but I also just wanted to
leave that message with any of you who may be considering getting your tube
side and maybe um your doctors we’ve met with three doctors now I think and I say
that it’s pretty common that that mom’s changed their mind yeah they said it’s
very common that that moms come back a few years later and regret doing it
because they just you just don’t know how you’re going to feel even a year or
two down the road so for any of you considering getting your tubes tied I
think the best advice I can give you is to look into the options and are the
different ways to get your tubes tied because there are I didn’t know that
there were different ways to do it and I wished I would have kind of taken a
little more time to research it and just in case the realist slight chance that I
might change my mind at least if I would have done the clamp procedures and I
would have had my chances of them being able to have a successful reversal
surgery would be much tires yeah these are clamp um they tie
over they cauterized oh yeah so I think the clamping would suspend the best clip
the clip would have been better she’s just been having this feeling and
I tried to talk her out of it about there’s probably about three four months
ago yeah and I’ve mentioned I’ve mentioned
it a couple times on social media like I really would miss having a baby I want
another baby but then it sounds like these fears come back into your mind
like oh no it’s okay we’re good you know there’s there’s hard parts to pregnancy
and newborns and all that but I think I just finally gotten to this point where
I’m thinking I’m hoping the hard things that come with having a baby and
pregnancy and all that because you know how much of a blessing it is to have
them and especially now that things have calmed down I feel like I got the energy
I’m still young enough I can do it and so we’re just hoping for the best and
more cars for us would be better and we appreciate your support
hmm yeah sure I can get you seen this is my baby little baby I wanted to
videotape our process I just told the kids that we’re gonna do what we can to
reverse the surgery and I wish they would have had my camera when I told
them but I was also a little skeptical telling them because I don’t want anyone
to get their hopes up and get too excited because this is not like
guarantee is not guarantee that I’m going to have another baby yes usually
happen where you can’t three people Canyon uses coke so we got
to pray every night yet that it works okay I I want either one because now I
got two boys and two girls so I’m just happy with whatever you girls cheering
you girl I need to suck grafite if it’s like a blur sure but first we need to
just understand that this is not it’s not like I’m saying I am pregnant and
you’re pregnant well you know I’m just saying that we’re
going to try to enjoy we’re looking into it it’s just done
kind of a long approximately my age doesn’t work all your tubes like yeah
I’ll be fine either way all right if you don’t have a baby
you’ll be of awakening um I really believe excelent she’s all over me Chloe
yeah yeah oh it’s really hard to hold this in like I was really skeptical even
telling the kids because I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up because I
already am getting my hopes up and I just hope everything works out but it’s
just hard to hold in such a such a big secret and that would be a long time I’d
have to hold it in and be like okay I’m going to get surgery and not really be
able to explain to you what it’s for so I just decided it would be better if I’m
open about it you guys but you just have to understand that it doesn’t mean that
I am for sure going to get pregnant you are okay DeLeon I like these positive
affirmations we just got to pray a lot that it was in the same in our face Jay
Wright is powerful well basically powerful only what do you think about it
yeah for sure natural birth oh and what do you think about that yeah okay Zack
that’s a good name 1:17 I don’t know what Ellen’s thinking
about this whole thing he’s just like I don’t I don’t think he likes this idea
he’s like does this mean I won’t be the baby anymore
he will like a baby brother a sister Oliver Oliver we can’t say that yet okay
there’s no there’s no baby in my tummy yet so okay just know that whatever
happens is the way it should be so if God wants us to have another baby
he’ll give us another baby he is something if he thinks that four
kids in our family is enough then we got to be happy with that
mom honey right now okay let’s all go save prayer right now oh yeah you always
get it combined face yeah ollie we don’t know for sure I do
want you to believe let’s believe I just don’t want I just don’t want anyone to
be let down that’s all you know Amen just one just one not two okay not in there

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