The Skinny Bitch Diet Menu (Hot Date)

(CollegeHumor theme) (electric buzzing) – It’s like, I want to
order the Double Loaded Gut-Bomb Chili Cheese Fry Nachos, but– – We have a pool party
to go to after this. – I guess we could always order from the diet menu. (horror music) (up-tempo music) – Beyoncé doesn’t say that. – “If he liked it, he
should have put a platter “of grilled onion rings on it?” This is degrading. – A “Glamburger on a Tight
Bun” with a side of thighs? Jesus! – How are you supposed to
say any of this out loud to another human being? – Hey, gang! Are we ready? – Yes, I will have the… Chicken Slenders. – I’m sorry? – The chicken. – Ah, the Chicken Parm
or the Chicken Francese? – Uh, the, diet menu chicken. – Which one? – This one. – I’m sorry, don’t have my glasses. – Oh, okay, of course you don’t. The… Saucy Bossy Chicken Slenders. – On a Blamwich or as a Flauntrée? – A Flauntrée. – It doesn’t sound like you want it. – Excuse me? – If you want a Flauntrée, you have to flaunt it. – (sigh) I am the boss bitch and I demand
my Slenders as a Flauntrée, with the Fit Into My Little
Black Dress-ing on the side, sorry, not sorry! Is that good enough? – For you?
– I’ll just have a burger. – What? No! Did you hear what just
came out of my mouth? No, no, be a man and
order from the Bitch Menu! – Okay, um… I will have the Glamburger then. – What kind of cheese? – It would be the… Man, I Feel Like a… Wo-manchego… please?
– What was that? – Man, I Feel Like a Wo-manchego. – Oh… Sing it for me. – What?
– Sing it for me, you little slut. ♫ Man, I Feel Like a Wo-man… chego – Yeah, now tell me
how you want it cooked. – I don’t want to. – You have to tell me. I have to tell the chef. – Medium Fierce. – What kind of bun? – Holla Bread. – What kind of bun?! – I want it on Holla Bread, girrrrl! – (crying) – Good boy. Do you know why you’re crying? ’cause you’re a fat boy, not a fit boy. You wanna be a fit boy, don’t ya? Say it to me. – I’m a fat boy and I
wanna be a fit boy, sir. – [Waiter] Shake your fat boy tits for me. – Don’t do it.
– Shut up. Yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. I’ll get you guys some water! – What’s up, the world? From award-holders Murph and Emily comes a new web series called Hot Date. – That’s right, it’s gonna
be coming to you weekly, and if we play our cards right, maybe we’ll actually win one of these. – Yes, these are other people’s– – These are other people’s.
– But… We’re holding them, so, who’s the real winner?


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