Overcoming Fears When Starting a Coaching Business [Live Demo of Accountability Coaching Techniques]


Jeffrey Sooey: Do you get how afraid you are? Eve: No. I don’t know what I’m afraid of. Jeffrey Sooey: Well, you made a good list
of fears, it sounds like. You just said you don’t get it, but I think
what you’ve got in this conversation is you’ve got that were afraid at times which
had you not make calls because you weren’t present to that fear at the time. Eve: Right, right, right. Jeffrey Sooey: So you at least got that. Eve: Okay. Yeah, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: Definitely. Jeffrey Sooey: What do you notice now that
you get that? Eve: It’s illogical and there’s no reason
to not move forward just because you are afraid. Have you ever felt like you’re not ready
to coach? Why do you stop even when intending to go
for it? Have you ever tried to coach a client that
feels like they’re not ready? Why the deer in the headlights? Hey, this is Jeffrey Sooey with CoachesTrainingBlog.com,
and in this video, I’m going to give you a peek inside of one of my coaching sessions
that focused on overcoming fears when starting a coaching business where I use accountability
coaching techniques to cause the breakthroughs. This is a coach who was stuck in her coaching
business because she felt like she wasn’t ready. You will see her transform a breakthrough
on what was really stopping her in her business. I will also give you some commentary on why
I did what I did in this session and some inside secrets of how I coached her through
these challenges using some advanced accountability techniques. We will also talk about why you’re not ready
to start or grow your coaching business, what gets you off the hook for your cowardice,
the cost of hiding your fear, the limitless possibilities that stem from being yourself,
the mindful fear technique and the “I am afraid” success poster, that’s a fun one. We enter into this session where I’ve just
found that this coach was blowing off her business, even when she publicly committed
to taking a specific amount of action to grow it. You’re about to hear me ask the coach why
she failed to take action. So let us start right now. Eve: None. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, got it. So what had you not make those calls? Eve: I don’t know. I’m looking at the phone and I just blanked
out and then… Jeffrey Sooey: I got it. So when you said, “I’m looking at the
phone and then I blanked out,” do you mean that your intention when you did that was
to make a call, that that why you were looking at the phone? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: And then I feel I guess I’m not ready,
so I didn’t do it. Jeffrey Sooey: Oh, I got it. So the conversation, what had you not do is
this conversation called “I’m not ready.” Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: Got it. Okay, it’s really good. Okay, so we’re… So did a conversation really stop this coach
from taking action? No, of course not, but the conversation is
a good placeholder for whatever did stop her. While she was being or feeling or thinking
in a certain way, running a particular pattern or mental program, the surface conversation
for her was “I’m not ready.” For now I’ll treat this as the culprit that
got in her way. By the way, how many coaches stay stuck or
never even get started because they’re in the conversation of “I’m not ready. I’m not ready.” And if you think that that could be you at
times, listen close because this conversation could a breakthrough for you. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: And then I feel I guess I’m not ready
so I didn’t do it. Jeffrey Sooey: Oh, I got it. So the conversation, what had you not do it
is this conversation called “I’m not ready.” Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: Got it. Okay, it’s really good. Okay, so we’re getting clear on what you
not… Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: So really what you’re saying
is what had you not make the call is this thing that says, “I’m not ready,” which
it’s not just blanking out, although I can get why you’d blank out because if you’re
really not ready, if you’re being that you’re not ready, you’re going to blank out because,
“Hey, I’m not ready yet. I could not… Well, I’m not going to know what to say
so I need to blank out, so I can continue to act that out.” You’re acting out being not ready by blanking
out. Does that make sense? Eve: Yes. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: So they go, they’re one and
the same. They go along with each other. So let me ask you this then, what is the conversation
“I’m not ready: cover up that stops you from making these calls or it stopped you
at the time for making the call? What does it cover up? Now, this is a key part of any accountability
coaching conversation. Whenever your client is disempowered to follow
through on their promises and intentions, they are covering up the cause that stops
them, that pulls them back. That doesn’t mean that they are outright
lying to you, although that’s always possible, but it means that they are either deceiving
themselves or simply unaware of what’s really stopping them. By the way, why would a client who says one
thing is getting in the way, but that’s not really what’s getting in the way, be
unaware of what’s really getting in the way? That’s right, it’s because they’re so
busy blaming or fixing or focusing on what they say gets in their way that they may not
even take the time or energy to consider that something else is really what’s stopping
them. In accountability coaching, this is called
a cover up because that’s what it does, it covers up what’s really going on, what’s
really stopping your clients from their goals and dreams. Jeffrey Sooey: What is the conversation “I’m
not ready” cover up that stops you from making these calls or it stopped you at the
time from making the call? Was does it cover up? Eve: What does it cover up? Jeffrey Sooey: When you lie that you’re
not ready, what does that gets you off the hook? Eve: When I lie… Jeffrey Sooey: What does that gets you off
the hook for? Eve: I don’t know. One, I may be sounding stupid. Jeffrey Sooey: Right. Eve: Or them not taking me seriously. Jeffrey Sooey: Right. Eve: Or them not responding the way I like. Jeffrey Sooey: Right. So if you are really ready, if you are ready,
they could still not respond to you nicely. In fact, there are some of them that won’t,
right, and you know that. You experienced it already probably. Eve: Right, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: So if you’re trying to avoid
that or if there’s fear there or if there is laziness there or there’s something else
that would have you just want to avoid those things, then it’s a lot easier to cover
up by saying, “Well, I’m not ready,” because that’s a great justification. So being that not wanting to get a no or a
bad response from them stopped you in this case, how are you being that you let that
stop you? Because you didn’t let that stop you before,
so there must have been a way you started to show up that’s different than in the
past that had you get stopped by knowing that somebody may not respond the way you want. Eve: Maybe I was feeling like, “Can I actually
help these people?” And then maybe, overall, generally thinking
that maybe I can’t, how can I help them? Why am I even calling them, if possibly? Jeffrey Sooey: That sounds like it’s back
to the “I’m not ready” thing. Eve: Oh, okay. Jeffrey Sooey: Do you know what I mean? It’s like, “Can I help these people? I don’t know. Maybe, you know.” Like that sounds like it’s more of the “I’m
not ready.” The question I’m asking is, who you’re
being that you get stopped by somebody not responding the way you want? Eve: Chicken-wuss. Jeffrey Sooey: There you go. Really good. Eve: Oh, my God. Jeffrey Sooey: So do you see the difference
between that and not being ready? If you’re not ready, it’s like you could
be totally courageous and go for it, be successful and all that kind of stuff, like I can do
whatever I need to do, but you’ve got this justification for not doing it, which is,
“Well, I just wasn’t ready that day. It wasn’t that I was being a chicken,”
as you said, “or not being a wuss, I was just not ready to do that. I wasn’t ready to make those calls that
I’m scared of making.” What that gets you off the hook for is your
cowardice, chicken, wussiness, whatever you want to use your favorite term, it gets you
off the hook for that so you don’t have to be responsible for that. Eve: Yeah, okay. Jeffrey Sooey: Now, by the way, it doesn’t
mean that fear won’t be there. It’s just that there’s a big difference
between having some fear and making a call and having some fear and then not following
through on your work. If you made those calls in an hour or less,
it would be done, and whatever would happen from it would happen and you would be at least
probably stronger for it if you would put yourself together at that level and put the
energy in to do it. But the coward, the covering up coward, trying
to cover up, like the sense of being a coward or a chicken or whatever you would call it,
that piece stopped you, because you can’t be a coward and make the call, right? Eve: [Agrees] Jeffrey Sooey: And the other thing is you
can’t cover that up and expect to transform it when you’re operating as if, “Well,
that’s not me. I just wasn’t ready today,” which was
on the surface of that conversation when you stared at the phone and blanked out. You were covering up your cowardice with the
“I’m not ready” conversation. Do you get that? Eve: Yeah. Yeah, that’s on point. Jeffrey Sooey: What’s the impact of that,
I mean, other than not making the call, not the obvious? Eve: Not being able to make the call just
now. Jeffrey Sooey: You didn’t make the calls,
right? We know that. Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: But what is the most egregious
impact of covering up cowardice with a lie of not being ready? Eve: I’m just not going to move forward
because I feel I’ll never be ready. Jeffrey Sooey: So yeah, that’s one of the
impacts, it’s never move forward, but you could still survive just not moving forward. That’s probably one of the reasons why you
didn’t make the call. If it was survival, if it was like, “I cannot
survive if I don’t move forward,” you would have made those calls. So you will actually make it through not making
the calls and just not making any progress, but what is the real cost of – forget about
the external like, “I’m not going to get a client from this,” or something like that,
if that’s all you get from having made those calls and you’ve got the booby prize out
of it, because clients come and go, and it’s not that it’s nice. I mean, I know that’s what you’re focused
on maybe right now, but there’s a much bigger thing to lose. There’s way more at stake in those calls
or not making those calls, i.e., the impact of covering up cowardice with this lie has
a much, much bigger impact on you than just not moving forward and missing out on business
or something like that. Eve: Could it be that I would know that I
didn’t really give it my all or everything that I could? Jeffrey Sooey: Yeah. Yeah, that’s right, and if you knew that
and you continue to perpetrate that, which I know that’s not who you are, but if you
continue to live like that and operate like that, what would the ultimate loss or cost
or the most devastating impact be of allowing that to stay in your life, allowing that to
stick for over time and time and time? Eve: I think I’d feel like a walking contradiction. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: Being that I would know all these things,
but not… Jeffrey Sooey: Yeah, so who would you really
become if that’s how you allowed yourself to live? Like what’s the description you would make
for somebody who like that’s a nice term to use, like walking contradiction, but what
would be the worst way you describe that person if you saw them and you saw how they lived
and you saw how they were acting and they were talking one way and acting another, what
would be your worst derogatory description or label that you would place not on them
because you’re mean, but if you were to see that in yourself, that you would say that
if it was the worst way of describing that, that’s got some real teeth to it, that it
doesn’t feel good to say or doesn’t feel good to admit? Lots of times, clients will try to soften
the impact of their issues and cover-ups by softening the language they use when describing
the cost and the impact of the issue itself. They’ll use clinical or technical language
like, “I’ll be neurotic or this is duplicitous or it will become a complex or it’s inauthentic.” Or they’ll try to reduce the true intents
of the impact like, “Oh, I’m sad or I’m just not being honest.” It’s understandable because the full impact
of the issue or cover up is not comfortable for them and your client is just trying to
retain a modicum of comfort during this coaching session. However, it’s my job as the coach to get
them present to the full impact no matter how uncomfortable it is, because that is what
it will take for them to wake up and reassess. I mean, why bother changing a pattern when
the impact is so minor? If your client can comfortably live with a
problem, generally, they won’t change it. They’ll just live with that issue for as
long as they can. That’s where coaching really changes the
game for my client if I do my job. They may have been comfortable before with
this issue, but they’re not going to be comfortable with leaving it as it is after
our session together, assuming that its impact is major, which it usually is if they’re
bringing it up in a coaching session. Let’s hear the way I pushed for that raw
impact again. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s a nice term to use,
like walking contradiction, but what would be the worst way you describe that person
if you saw them and you saw how they lived and you saw how they were acting and they
were talking one way and acting another, what would be your worst derogatory description
or label that you would place not on them because you’re mean, but if you were to
see that in yourself, that you would say that if it was the worst way of describing that,
that’s got some real teeth to it, that it doesn’t feel good to say or doesn’t feel
good to admit? Eve: I can’t come up with that really harsh
one. The only thing that comes up is… Jeffrey Sooey: It doesn’t have to be harsh. Eve: Oh. Jeffrey Sooey: Go ahead. Eve: I want it to be… Jeffrey Sooey: Go ahead. Eve: I’m thinking fake, a phony. Jeffrey Sooey: Yeah. Eve: A liar. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, there you go. So that’s not harsh, plenty harsh to me,
but like do you see how those have some serious teeth? Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: Fake, phony, liar, it’s like
not that really would be who you are, but it’s like you’d start to be that way because
of the way that you operated, which was completely divorced from what you were saying and promising
and really what you’re committed to as well. Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: You end up being a fake, being
a phony, and so what’s at stake? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: I mean, again, it’s not about
the phone call. It’s not about the client. When you’re going to make the call to the
business, that the voice in your head will say you’re not ready for, or that you’ll
still fear about even if you cover it up with that “I’m not ready” thing, what is
making that call really about then? What’s really at stake in that call? Eve: Pride. Jeffrey Sooey: [Agrees] Eve: My ego again keeps coming up. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. What I mean by that is what’s at stake knowing
that if you were not to follow through on that promise consistently, not like once or
twice, because I mean, you could fall off the wagon every once in a while, but if you
knew that you were consistently to allow those to slip past you and you didn’t follow what
you knew was right and you allowed yourself to end up living as if you were a fake or
a phony or a liar or something like that, what’s at stake in the phone call then? Eve: It sounds like everything that I’ve
put into the coaching. Jeffrey Sooey: In a way, yeah. Eve: When I’m not calling… Jeffrey Sooey: And by the way, knowing who
you are in life is being a phony, is that in alignment with who you really are at the
deepest level? Eve: Right. No. Jeffrey Sooey: And so if you allowed that
to be your life, then what would be the impact of that, like what would be the cost of that? Eve: I would end not satisfied with coaching
as I did with my previous job because I wasn’t allowed to be myself. Jeffrey Sooey: Right. Eve: And authentic. Jeffrey Sooey: And more than the coaching
or about more than the career itself, it would simply be you not being able to be yourself,
you not being who you really are. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s awful. Eve: Again, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: You can live or die by the
coaching. You could fail or succeed, but if you’re
not yourself in the process of it, no matter what happens with that, there’s a huge cost
right there. I mean, you could call it your soul or your
ego or your identity or whatever, but if you’re not you, it’s like what else is there to
lose? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s a lot right there. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s the impact. And again, it’s not about the phone call,
but that’s the impact of this. That’s the potential impact in the future,
at least, of this cover up of the cowardice. It’s like if nothing else, just let yourself
be a coward and embrace and be like, “Okay, that’s me. Now, can I go make that call?” Because in the face of that, then you can
turn that around and you create courage, which is a very, very transformational piece, which
is who you really are, and yes, sometimes you’re going to be afraid, but that’s
why this is a huge opportunity for you. To be who you really are takes courage because
in this world, there are going to be times when it doesn’t reward you for being who
you are. Does that make sense? Eve: Yeah, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: So whether it’s rewarded
or not, if you can be who you are in the face of that, then what’s the opportunity there? This is a key moment for the session. Did you notice how this negative impact just
opened the door to a positive transformation? And we often hear there’s an opportunity
for greatness or growth or victory inside every issue or challenge or limitation, and
this is a key crux moment where we find that breakthrough in this session. Let’s hear the beginning of that again and
how I moved the conversation until limitless possibilities for this client to be herself. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s the potential impact
in the future, at least, of this cover up of the cowardice. It’s like if nothing else, just let yourself
be a coward and embrace and be like, “Okay, that’s me. Now, can I go make that call?” Because in the face of that, then you can
turn that around and you create courage, which is a very, very transformational piece, which
is who you really are, and yes, sometimes you’re going to be afraid, but that’s
why this is a huge opportunity for you. To be who you really are takes courage because
in this world, there are going to be times when it doesn’t reward you for being who
you are. Does that make sense? Eve: Yeah, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: So whether it’s rewarded
or not, if you can be who you are in the face of that, then what’s the opportunity there? If you could be who you are, even though you’re
not like encouraged or rewarded or patted on the head for it, what’s possible then? Eve: I mean, it’s kind of limitless where
I can go if I don’t give up on myself or hide behind my cowardice. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. It’s really great. It’s really great. It’s like that’s what’s available to
you then, it is limitless possibilities, and that’s who you really are. It’s just that the world doesn’t necessarily
just love you and give you everything for that just because that’s what you’re attempting
to express initially. It’s going to take some momentum. It’s a work and it’s a battle and some
courage and all those kinds of things, which you’ve shown in the past, and I think that
in this conversation, you’ve also demonstrated that as well, so I acknowledge you tremendously
just for that. I think all that there is left to do is to
make not only this commitment, which you’re welcome to do at this end of this session,
where you make that and get back on the horse with it, so you really allow yourself to have
that transformation. But as important as that or maybe probably
more important than that is what do you need to commit to so that you transform this pattern
of covering up not cowardice as cowardice is more of just a behavior based upon covering
up fear. People that are afraid but aren’t going
to cover it up, they let the fear, they admit the fear, they usually are able to transform
it. It’s the people that are busy covering it
up that are the most cowardly of all because they’re not just in fear, they’re in fear
of even dealing with the fact that they’re in fear. It’s like a double fear, if you will. So what do you need to do to transform that
process that would take your identity and steal and rob you from the chance to be yourself
in all the limitless possibilities that are possible there? What do you need to commit to like make sure
that, and once in a while it might get in the way, but what do you need to commit to
make sure that generally speaking you get past it or at least you don’t let it hide
out and you give it like a place in your life that covering up fear ends up causing the
fear to steal your life? What do you need to commit to make sure you
keep that on your radar screen or that you head it off that pass or that you get in front
of it so you don’t allow this to cause the kind of limitations that you’ve experience
since our last session? Eve: I’m not sure. I’m guessing maybe put it down as part of
my baseline and commit to it like on a daily basis at least a little bit, and I’m not
sure if that’s a commitment. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, and so what would the
commitment be? What would you need to commit to as part of
your baseline? Eve: The calling the businesses. Here my client is trying to just recommit
to the action she didn’t take before. I’m going to attempt to get her to commit
to truly transforming what it was that stopped her from taking action in the first place,
that way she’ll not only do what she skipped out on before, but many other breakthroughs
and possibilities will show up because this thing that stopped her from this one action,
it’s also stopping her from many other actions, dreams and possibilities in many areas of
her life. That’s why we say that coaching works on
many levels or layers with the client. There are multiple dimensions of possibility
and transformation available out of this one coaching call. So let’s listen to how I encouraged that
deeper and more multidimensional commitment that will transform so much more than just
her business. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, and so what would the
commitment be? What would you need to commit to as part of
your baseline? Eve: The calling the businesses. Jeffrey Sooey: Which is great. I mean, again, that’s the specific thing
that you already committed to. I’m talking about what do you need to commit
to, and by the way, if you just made those calls, you’re probably in the process to
naturally transform this whole “covering up the fear” thing, and probably just in
the process of that, you would transform covering up the fear, I would guess. What I’m asking you for is what’s the
more direct commitment where you can actually make sure that – because the challenge with
that is like, “Okay, in order to transform covering up my fear, I’ve got to pick up
the phone and make a bunch of calls.” But guess what, if you’re covering up your
fear at that time, you’re not going to pick up the phone and make a bunch of calls. So it’s like a chicken and the egg. Does that make sense? Eve: Right. Do you mean like admitting the fear? Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, that sounds like a great
commitment. Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: Is that something you’re
willing to do? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: It’s really great. If you just committed to admitting the fear
and being honest about that, that’s really what this is about. It’s more about honesty than it is about
fear, because everybody has got fear. I’ve had fear as I call those businesses,
right? Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: But if you’re honest about
it, then cowardice wouldn’t show up because you’d deal with it. You’d actually see it, you’d admit it,
and you’d get real about that that’s really what’s going on. It’s not this “I’m not ready” kind
of thing. That makes total sense just admitting it just
because it’s honesty commitment basically if that’s something that you’re willing
to commit to even beyond the calls, and again, you’re going to recommit to the calls, and
that’s awesome, but besides and beyond that, are you willing to commit that you’re going
to be honest when fear comes up for you, at least starting with yourself and just say,
“Okay, I’m afraid that’s what’s happening right now,” and just get that so you are
present to it and it’s not this other game of trying to get away from that act, like
that doesn’t exist. Eve: I hope so. I want to, and sometimes it’s so subconscious
I can’t even hear it. Jeffrey Sooey: Yeah. Eve: You see, I hear my thoughts because I
meditate for the past – I don’t know – several months. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay. Eve: But I didn’t hear it this time. Jeffrey Sooey: I get it. That makes sense, and by the way, that’s
why we have it in this conversation is because it was hidden from your view for whatever
reason. Eve: Right, exactly, yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: Now, you see it and there’s
a commitment there to be honest about that and it’s just a question of like, what practices
can you put in place so that you keep that on your radar screen when you look for it? So my coaching for you on that one is just
keep an eye on it as a part of your ritual. Put it up on your wall or something that you’re
afraid. Just really get your fear and the moment you
get it, like you really get it, do you get how afraid you are? Eve: No. I don’t know what I’m afraid of. Jeffrey Sooey: Well, I think you shared it. I mean, you shared one of the fears you had,
which is you don’t get the result that you want when you make the call, right? Eve: Oh yeah, okay. Jeffrey Sooey: There are people you didn’t
do a good job on the call or you couldn’t help these guys, but you made a good list
of fears, it sounds like. Eve: Oh, okay, fine. Jeffrey Sooey: You didn’t talk about it
as if you were afraid of those, but my guess is there’s a good chance that a lot of those
probably chalk to that piece, but you do, but what you did, and here’s a funny thing,
it’s like you just said you don’t get it, but I think what you’ve got in this
conversation is you’ve got that you were afraid at times which had you not make calls
because you weren’t present to that fear at the time. Eve: Right, right, right. Jeffrey Sooey: So you at least got that. Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: So I’ll ask you the question
again, do you get that you’re afraid? Eve: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Jeffrey Sooey: Okay, and now that you get
your fear, you really get your fear and get you’re afraid, what comes up for you? What do you notice now that you get that,
like really get it? Eve: That it’s illogical and there’s no
reason to not move forward just because you’re afraid. Jeffrey Sooey: Wow, wow. It’s fantastic. So that’s the point of the commitment to
get this and to be honest about it because as soon as you’re honest about it, you can
focus on it and give it some attention, because really, your fear just wants some attention. It just wants to be protected. It wants you to take care of it just like
any other part of you, right? Eve: [Agrees] Jeffrey Sooey: So you give it a little attention
and it’s like immediately now you’ve got the solution where you’re like, “This
is irrational. This doesn’t make any sense. This is not going to help me in any way. Now, I can just get on with it.” So now, what do you get? Now that you said that and now that you get
that, now what do you experience? What are you experiencing right now? Eve: I’m feeling stupid because I just talked
about fear and not letting it stop me to my client. Jeffrey Sooey: Yeah, okay. Yeah, and by the way, it’s not stupid. That’s just what you said that you didn’t
want to be, which was fake. It’s like saying it to one person and then
going and doing the exact opposite of what you said. Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: So you get your inauthenticity
like in regards to what you say versus what you were currently doing in the past, at least. Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: It’s great to get that, but
what I’m saying is now that you get what came up for you about fear, how irrational
and illogical it is, and you get the inconsistency between what you’ve been telling clients
and what you’ve been doing for yourself, what are you now experiencing? Eve: A little clarity. Jeffrey Sooey: Nice. That’s really nice. That’s what was missing when you were staring
at the phone and blanking out. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: It’s just clarity, and as
encouraging as that does, but if you were clear on that moment, the calls just would
have shown up. This is where the session comes full circle. My client finds what was missing in the moment
that she blew off her calls, clarity. If she had clarity in that moment, she would
have just picked up the phone and made the damn calls. Do you see how this is a multidimensional
transformation where the client just gets themselves into action that powerful, but
if they actually get access to clarity, not just the concept of it, but literally the
experience during the session, during the coaching session itself, then imagine all
the areas where that would transform their life, their actions, their relationships,
their communication, their emotions and their entire experience. That’s what I was looking for inside this
mindful fear technique, getting her access to what was missing for her such that if she
had it, it would transform everything. Why do we need to go through that fear awareness
in order to get there? It’s because that clarity wasn’t possible
without full awareness and ownership of her fear. Jeffrey Sooey: What are you now experiencing? Eve: A little clarity. Jeffrey Sooey: Nice. That’s really nice. That’s what was missing when you were staring
at the phone and blanking out. Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: It’s just clarity, and as
encouraging as that does, but if you were clear on that moment, the calls just would
have shown up, and whatever to say and whatever to do to make the best possible future out
of those conversations and relationships probably would have come up as well. That’s all that was missing, but clarity
was impossible at that point because of this thing that you hadn’t noticed. That’s all. Eve: Right. Jeffrey Sooey: So it’s being aware of that
and now you’ve got clarity. This is really great, and with that clarity,
not just anything is possible, because you’re breaking through the fear and you’re aligned
with who you really are, but you have the power to do that consistently because when
you bring that clarity to the table, you can break through fear anytime because it will
cut through it like a knife. Eve: I hope so. Jeffrey Sooey: And I get that. I appreciate that uncertainty. That’s a good place to be, you know? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: That’s probably better than
just fear that’s been covered up because at least now you’re like, “I don’t know
what’s going to happen,” which is exactly where you should be, because you don’t know,
but at least you can be clear that you don’t know and you can have courage in the face
of the unknown. Can you do that now that you get that your
fear is not aligned with who you really are? Eve: Yeah. I mean, I’ll do everything I can to recognize
it. Jeffrey Sooey: Nice. That’s the commitment that I’m asking
you for, but just to keep it in front of you. Don’t forget your fear. Don’t ignore your fear. Don’t deny your fear. Embrace your fear. Look at your fear, give it some attention,
but just be aware of your fear. Be present to it. When you’re about to make a call and you
start feeling the fear or the same game comes up so you don’t have to experience and admit
that you’re afraid, be like, “This is my fear. I’m experiencing it right now, and now I
can make the call, but I know I’m afraid, okay.” If you don’t acknowledge it, then it will
be the same game, you’ll blank out and you’ll do this whole hopscotch again. That’s the commitment I’m asking you for. Are you committed to do that? Eve: Yes, definitely. Jeffrey Sooey: Great, it’s really good. So my coaching for you on this is put “I
am afraid” on a poster and put it on your wall. Eve: Okay. Jeffrey Sooey: You know, they have those success
posters that they put on the wall, but like your success poster is “I am afraid.” Eve: Okay. I could do that. Jeffrey Sooey: And then it will be really
hard to forget that shit, you know? Eve: Yeah. Jeffrey Sooey: But put it right by your phone
so when you look at the phone and you see this where you see fear, you’re like, “Okay,
yeah, that’s what that’s about. Okay, great. Now, let’s make the call and just get over
it.” Eve: Okay. I’ll do that. Jeffrey Sooey: All right, it’s really good. Eve: Thank you, Jeff. Jeffrey Sooey: You’ve got it. Okay, could we… I hope you took some great value out of this
video today, so do you ever stop yourself from moving forward in your coaching business
because you’re not ready? Is it possibly just fear? How do you break through to take action? Have you had a client like this? How did you help them? And then what did I miss? What else might have helped my client? Just put it in the comments and let’s have
a conversation about it. This is Jeffrey T. Sooey with CoachesTrainingBlog.com. Thanks for watching this video. Like it if you thought it was cool and subscribe
for even more of these videos. By the way, you can grab your own free step-by-step
30 days to become a coach video toolkit. Just go to CoachesTrainingBlog.com to get
your 30-Day Coaching Blueprint Videos. You’ll learn even more detail on this same
accountability techniques I demonstrated today, other advanced coaching and practice-building
techniques and more.

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