-Last time you were here,
it was your birthday. Do you remember that?
-Yes. -And we retired —
-Oh, do I remember it. -We retired you to the rafters.
-Yes. -And we actually —
We lifted you up in the air. -It was a beautiful experience.
-Yeah, it was. -It was. It was really
a beautiful experience. And then… -Well, then what we did was —
as a joke, we had a dummy
fall from the rafters and crash through a table. -That was meant to be me.
-Was pretending to be — -It was a dummy that was
meant to be me. -Yes, that’s right. -And then when the show
was over — -Now, this — I didn’t —
You got mad at this. -No, don’t apologize.
No, I didn’t get mad. I didn’t get — I would never
get mad at you. Why would I get mad at you? Do we want to
show them the dummy? -Yeah, I have a photo
of the dummy. -Show the photo of the dummy. -I can’t believe we took
a photo — -So, here’s a photo of
the dummy, okay? I’m walking down the hallway. I’m walking down the hallway.
And it’s a dummy. And I say to them,
“You had to put, like, the added gut on the dummy?” Now, I’m going to do it now.
I’m going to take my pack out. I want to show you —
‘Cause you talk about how, like, you want to lose weight
and everything. You want to see how much weight
I’ve lost? Ready? My pants don’t even
fit me anymore. [ Cheers and applause ] It’s not big enough. -Oh, my gosh!
You look fantastic. Don’t ever…
[ Cheers and applause ] -That was just for you, Jimmy.
-Oh, my gosh. I was happy to see you on
the season premiere of “Saturday Night Live,”
’cause — Please, you’re amazing. -But you’re one of the
few people who appreciates, ’cause this is
such an important thing. Like, I said to them —
And it was not with any malice or any, you know,
lack of affection for them. I said, “I don’t want to
do that anymore. I don’t want to do
the Trump thing again. I’m going to stop.”
-Yeah. -I don’t need to tell you
about the Lorne Michaels
Jedi Mind Trick thing. And, I mean — No, seriously, you know it
as well as me or better, that he, like —
He gets me on the phone the Friday before the show,
the day before the show, and he’s like,
“I don’t think you understand.” And I go,
“What don’t I understand? I’ve been thinking
about it, like, all summer. Every day,
that’s all I think about.” “I don’t think you understand
how important this is.” Now, you know as well as I do
that, unconsciously, Lorne starts with one very
powerful premise, which is, “I hired you, didn’t I? So my judgement
is flawless, right? “I gave you your biggest job,
didn’t I?” So, he starts,
and you’re kind of like, “Yeah, you got a point.” -Yeah. -“You hired me, so I really
shouldn’t doubt you.” So, he said to me,
“You should come and do it. Your audience demands it,”
or something like that. And I’m like —
-“Your audience demands it.” -Well, he didn’t say that.
-Yeah, I know. Exactly. -He would never say something
as bold as that. As silly as that. But, anyway, he said to me,
“Plea–” So I came and I did it. And I’m going to do it
a few times. -That’s good.
I love that you do it. You were like, “I’m out.”
-I’m out. I’m out. -Seriously, as of Friday,
you were out. -But everywhere you go,
you get one or the other. It’s like people — Most people
walk up to me and go — I mean, I could be on —
You know, I’m on the phone and I’m taking care of my kid
in a stroller, and people are like, “Excuse me. I’m sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Or it’s, like, a bunch of
construction workers, and they’re like, “There he is.” There he is.
That ass[bleep] Alec Baldwin.” -Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They don’t do that.
They don’t do that. -They do.
-They do? -Yeah, well, there’s people —
I mean, he has his supporters. He has his fans. And when I’m around them —
Yeah, it’s all spoof. We don’t mean anything bad.
-No, of course not. -Yeah, no.
[ Laughter ] That’s the funniest thing
I’ve heard in the last year. “We don’t mean anything bad.”